my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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