Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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