Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
