marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
