I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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