I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize