HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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