who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
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Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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