those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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