i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize