Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
