Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
