I think I died a long time ago.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
