I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You ate ashes out of my bong
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
