bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just had sex bonerless
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize