we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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