Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize