ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
