whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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