At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
