it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
