Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
