I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
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He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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