Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
