I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
