she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize