felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
