Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
