God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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