Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
