Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
