I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
