hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
