haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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