I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
