And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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