Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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