I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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