My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
