i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize