You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
