I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
