if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
