I heard we made out
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
