Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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