you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
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