i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
