Buhtt sex?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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