oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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