Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
