well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
