Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
