I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
