I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
