Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She's the barista slut.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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