i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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