I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
