I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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