im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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