I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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