I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize