Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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