Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
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my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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